Tuesday, Jan. 22, 2013

I can’t take credit for that

If I weren’t such a scrupulous person, I could really take advantage of my small crew of two.

On Christmas Eve, we always drive around and look at Christmas lights. Some Cary neighborhoods did a great job with the luminaries this year.

“They’re copying us, Mom,” my son Tyler said, pointing at the lit paper bags lining a sidewalk.

What a great time for a history lesson, I thought. I pointed out that the town has been lighting them since 1973.

Back then, Cary was so small that one Boy Scout troop was able to supply the whole town with candles, bags and sand.

I remember every house in every neighborhood doing luminaries. I used to help my dad roll the bags down to form a cuff and then place a single candle inside, nestled on a bed of sand.

Since then, I explained, dozens of scout troops supplied multiple towns with candles and bags. But not everyone participated because some people didn’t know the tradition.

My son just looked at me. “They’re still copying us.”

“They’re not!” I insisted. “We did not invent luminaries. In fact, it’s an ancient tradition.”

Blah, blah, blah. All he knew was he lit those candles before we left; they were our decorations.

This idea that my family thinks I invented things started happening long before I had kids. My husband insists I invented a variety of terms, including “spooning.”

“You are so clever,” he said, “the way you come up with these terms.”

I finally found a card with the term written on it.

“See? I didn’t make up ‘spooning,’ ” I said, thrusting the card at him. “It’s pop culture, ding dong. You need to get out more.”

Another phrase I supposedly made up: muffin top.

“Everyone calls it that,” I sighed at my husband. “If your stomach hangs over your waistband, it looks like a muffin top. That’s how it got its name.”

Seriously, I don’t know why I’m surprised. This is the guy who didn’t understand why the wedding of Prince William and Kate was televised.

“What is going on?” he asked. “Who are these people? Every channel is showing these people getting married. Who cares?!”

“They’re royalty,” I replied.

“Not in our country! Why is it on our TV? For hours?”

You can see both romance and popular culture are not exactly a premium in our house.

Next time, I swear I’m just taking the credit. So far I have a pretty impressive list of inventions: luminaries, spooning, muffin tops and more.

Next up: Gangnam style, skinny jeans and foodies.